Many gentlemen are terrified of the “Friend Zone” when it comes to their relationships with ladies. They are afraid that if they become friends with a young lady and later decide they would like to pursue a romantic relationship with her, she will balk at the idea of “spoiling a good thing” and insist that the relationship remain at a friendship level. They fear that “once friends, always friends” means “…and nothing else.”
While we are sure there are indeed ladies like this, we would submit to you that many ladies are of an opposite opinion and would actually prefer entering into a romantic relationship with a gentleman they first came to know as a friend. Think about it—while we are open and honest with friends, we are constantly concerned with putting our best foot forward in romantic relationships, at least for the first several months. Friendships begin with honesty and shared interests. Far too often, romances are built on looks and trying to make good impressions. If we are already friends with the gentleman who is courting us, we avoid those awkward months of trying to get to know the real person behind the nice clothes and company manners. We already know if we can trust the gentleman.
We’re not saying young men should befriend ladies in hopes of someday pursuing romantic relationships with them—that misses the point. But we do believe that if someone seems interesting to you as a human being, you should befriend him or her as a human being. You should neither be afraid of friendship because you fear it might preclude romance nor pursue friendship for the sole purpose of advancing your romantic goals.
While we are sure there are indeed ladies like this, we would submit to you that many ladies are of an opposite opinion and would actually prefer entering into a romantic relationship with a gentleman they first came to know as a friend. Think about it—while we are open and honest with friends, we are constantly concerned with putting our best foot forward in romantic relationships, at least for the first several months. Friendships begin with honesty and shared interests. Far too often, romances are built on looks and trying to make good impressions. If we are already friends with the gentleman who is courting us, we avoid those awkward months of trying to get to know the real person behind the nice clothes and company manners. We already know if we can trust the gentleman.
We’re not saying young men should befriend ladies in hopes of someday pursuing romantic relationships with them—that misses the point. But we do believe that if someone seems interesting to you as a human being, you should befriend him or her as a human being. You should neither be afraid of friendship because you fear it might preclude romance nor pursue friendship for the sole purpose of advancing your romantic goals.
In the long run, it's all about trust. Who is more likely to be trustworthy--the person who decided you looked pretty, so he should get to know you and get you to fall in love with him, or the person who decided you seemed like an interesting person, so he should get to know you and become your friend?
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