Why You're Still Single, in a Nutshell

I’ve noticed a common theme among men on dating sites: they are looking for someone who is intelligent, independent, and funny. That’s great because I happen to be an intelligent, funny, and (depending on your definition) independent woman; yet, I am still single. Assuming, of course, that I’m not an ogre, there must be an explanation.


I believe that although many men will say this is the woman they are seeking, they will actually be very turned off by this type of woman, leaving everyone scratching their heads in confusion and still single. Why is this?


I have a few theories:
1. Men are driven by their egos. Ego is the core of how a man views himself in relation to the world. If the ego is stroked, the guy is content with his status. If a man perceives a threat to his ego (for example: the woman is potentially smarter), he will no longer be interested in that woman. He does this to secure his higher status (albeit antiquated in thought). This leads the man to ignore a potentially compatible mate without ever getting to know her and, more importantly, never actually determining if she is indeed smarter or if he just perceived her as such! What a shame! They could have had hours of intellectual conversations!


2. Men want to feel needed, financially and emotionally. They really want to provide for a woman (See #1). It helps them secure their status and position in a relationship. If the man perceives that a woman “brings home the bacon”, he will no longer want to take care of this woman. He will perceive that she does not need a man. Sadly, he will be mistaken because even a woman of financial means needs a man to take care of her. She might not be completely dependent on him, financially speaking, but she will love him and appreciate his tokens of affection. These gestures make her feel like a woman. Yes…it’s true! It’s less about the need and more about the gesture of caring that opens a woman’s heart!


3. Men don’t want to be the butt of anyone’s joke (See #1). If a woman tells a few jokes, she is attractive to the man. If she tells too many jokes, especially at someone else’s expense, he will be wondering if she is making fun of him when he is not around. He might even begin to “read into” her jokes and believe she is actually laughing at him, instead of with him. For this one, I can only say the man could be insecure or he could be very perceptive. Women do have a tendency to make light of things that really, in fact, annoy them. So listen carefully, men, to those little pricks and prods. She might actually be making fun of you!


So, this is my advice to all of the single guys looking for a smart, financially secure woman. Give a girl a chance and ask her out on a date. While she might, in fact, be a genius and a millionaire, she is also, first and foremost, a woman who truly wants to be known and loved by a man. She wants your attention, your affection, your tokens, and your heart. Afterall, if she said, “Yes” to a date, then you’ve already proven yourself worthy and there’s no need to let your insecurities stand in the way any longer!